Just because we’ve gotten sober, doesn’t mean we don’t still have bad days. Even the Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) himself had bad days in his recovery. As outlined in Tara Brach’s book, Radical Acceptance, ‘Tea with Mara’ is a Buddhist-inspired practice where we learn to sit with difficult emotions and feeling tones.

The Buddha was a regular person like anyone else. To become known as the Buddha (“Enlightened One”), he sat for three days and three nights under an ancient bodhi tree in deep meditation contemplating the nature of enlightenment. But to become enlightened, Siddhartha had to first overcome the temptations of a mischievous entity known as Mara. Mara is the physical manifestation of doubt, lust, fear, anger, anxiety, and various other negative emotional states. Mara often stands in the way of anyone seeking to break free from the suffering of addiction. Even after becoming enlightened, the Buddha was still just a mortal being like you or me. Ever persistent, Mara would continue to follow the Buddha for the rest of his life, even after the Buddha’s enlightenment.

As the Buddha travelled the countryside teaching the Dharma for the rest of his life, Mara would follow. When Mara would appear, the Buddha’s friends would grow concerned, saying things like ,‘Oh no!! Mara is here! What are we going to do!?’ And the Buddha would calmly turn to his friends and say ‘Calm down. Be cool.’ (Direct quote).

The Buddha, acting cool, calm, and collected, never grew concerned when Mara would appear in his life because he understood the nature of suffering and the Four Noble Truths. Instead, he would smile and say ‘I see you Mara. Come, let us have tea’.